the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
