she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
