I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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