My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
