so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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