What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
