I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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