the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
