when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
