And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
