It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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