I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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