Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
