I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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