I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
