Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
