and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
