He told me they were just razor bumps!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize