Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
