You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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