Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
