so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
