she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
