I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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