Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
