Grow some girl-balls and come out already
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
