I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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