also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
