when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
