Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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