He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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