i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
