Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm too high and old for this...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
