actually, I'm a sock model
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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