You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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