Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Sober January is a disaster.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
