I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
