I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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