The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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