Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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