Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
