So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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