remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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