Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So gin and wine won't be happening again
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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