You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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