You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
