talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize