I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
