This dress was meant to end up on your floor
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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