please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
