I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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