Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
