He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
accomplished twins. life is a go
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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