There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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