they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
