She is in my trunk
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
