My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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