Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
